If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
