He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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