It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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