i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
