Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
