2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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