did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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