You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
