she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
