You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
