I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
