butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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