Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
