Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
