glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
