I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Blood and glitter go together right?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
