Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
