i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
