No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
