You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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