I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
