ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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