I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
