Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
