Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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