We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
