im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
