I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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