so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
