She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
