Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Randomize
