Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
