New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
