So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
