I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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