he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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