I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
