Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I deserve this hangover.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
