32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
