so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Randomize
