sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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