It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
