i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think my moral compass just broke
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