Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
