But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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