Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
