Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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