the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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