I must be too annoying 4 u.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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