we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
