I just pynch a tree in the face
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
