You can't special order awesome
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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